Funnyman Tapan Trivedi

On Stupor - Meal Induced and otherwise !

It starts with a heavy meal or a wonderful ecstatic and yet a draining fuck. It starts either around the upper part of a belly or just above the crotch. You can almost hear the assembly line whirring at a painstakingly slow pace to produce the stupor juice. It spreads slowly through the body , climbing on to the blood platelets to reach the far reaching corners of the body (not that my body has any corners - its pretty well rounded) and then evaporating and reaching those where blood can't go. How else do you explain me smelling stupor ? It takes my agility, my motivation and my senses with it . Where it takes those things I don't know . Maybe cause it took my senses with it. My head tilts back and forth. I turn off the phone with a herculean effort because I know that the ringing will hurt. Badly. Very badly.

I turn the sounds off on the computer. Then I turn off the computer. My eyes are getting heavier and heavier as if under the effect of a really bad hypnotist. I slouch in my chair in front of the dark monitor. I slouch down till I can only see my eyes and my hair in my reflection. Anyone seeing me from behind will have to look real closely to determine my existence. I lay there comfortably. Listening to the audible hum of monitors in other cubicles, the whirring of the track ball on the mouse and the random keystrokes - I droop some more.

It is a delicate balance that I try to maintain . Any more drooping and I will fall off and out of the stupor induced euphoria. Any less and I will still fall out of the stupor induced euphoria. Now my eyes are sliding shut. I see the back of my eyelids and the faint hint of light somewhere, somplace - far away. I take deeper and deeper breaths. Once again the trick is to NOT go too far and snore. Snoring technically puts you in the sleeping category and you can't bill for sleeping time. That is why stupor is so cool .

YOu can be perfectly happy and still earn money at the same time. I start drifting in and out. My head tilting is more pronounced. It reminds me of the time when I have participated in the unruly practice of candy flipping.

A small burp escapes the gullet and the esophagus and the Gods of stupor have smiled on you again. It starts again. You go down , down , down. Then I realize in the back of my mind. Where reason and logic and brain function are housed as roomies. I have to go home. I have to go to Mandy. I will have sex. I will love her . Then I will be drained and stuporous again. Long live stupor.

posted by THE Original Indian Comedian @ 5:21 PM